Do you approach dating as a relentless search to find the right person for you? Would you like to stop being on the hunt for someone and meet the right person with less effort? You might be thinking, “How is that possible?” The answer is to change the question from “How can I find the right person?” to “How can I be the right person?”

How to Be the Right Person

Being the right person starts with loving yourself. Self-love is an essential element of healthy relationships. When you exude self-love, you’ll attract partners who love themselves, which is a good sign of their emotional health. In addition, when your focus is on enjoying your life rather than looking for the one, people are naturally attracted to you.

Being the right person means that you’re real. You don’t hide behind a mask, afraid of letting your true self be seen. Your thoughts and actions are a testament to your authenticity. For example, you regularly do things you love, like biking, being creative, or eating lunch at your favorite restaurant. Furthermore, your interests may inspire you to enroll in a class or join a social group that allows you to meet people with similar interests. The more people you meet, the greater the chances of connecting to someone special. People are naturally attracted to you when you love what you’re doing.

Don’t fall into thinking that you need to postpone things you love to do until they have a particular person to share them with. You’re undervaluing your own company when you think that something won’t be fun if you do it on your own.

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You just need to accept yourself ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Becoming More Self-Loving

Have you ever stopped to think about how you treat yourself? Or how you talk to yourself? If you want to be loved for who you are, you need to love yourself first. Ask yourself:

• Do you enjoy your own company?
  
• Are you kind to yourself even when you feel like you’ve failed at something?
• Have you unpacked your emotional baggage from the past?
• Do you appreciate and honor yourself?

Ending the Cycle

When you don’t have a loving relationship with yourself, you’re likely to make the unconscious error of hoping that another person will help you feel better about yourself. You’ll put your happiness in the hands of someone else. Unfortunately, thinking you’re not enough attracts manipulative and controlling partners. To end the cycle of feeling like you’re in a desperate search to love, focus on having a happy and healthy relationship with yourself first.

The most healthy approach to relationships is to stop relying on others for acceptance and become your own best friend. Otherwise, if you base your self-worth on what your partner thinks about you, you’re putting your happiness in someone else’s hands. You’ll morph into an inauthentic version of yourself to avoid rejection. Rather than continuing on this hamster wheel, you can break free of it by focusing on your self-love and happiness with your life as it is.

In Conclusion

Long-term, loving relationships start with being the right person, not finding the right person. Your relationship with yourself is directly connected to who you attract into your life.

Next Steps

Wouldn’t it feel great if you could stop putting pressure on yourself to find “the one” and instead engage more fully with what you love? I can help you have more fun, love yourself more, and attract the right person for a healthy and happy relationship. You can find me at (512) 922-4822 or email truelovecoach@gmail.com.