Myth #1 When You’ve Met the Right Person, Things Just Fall Into Place

This myth glosses over the fact that relationships take work. That work is about being honest, vulnerable, and emotionally available to your partner. After the romance stage, things get real. The insecurities you bring into the relationship must get worked out and can bring up sensitive issues that are hard to discuss. At this point, many of us decide that the relationship takes too much work. Clearly, this is the right thing to do if you feel like it’s a toxic relationship. On the other hand, if you’ve met someone that understands that healthy relationships take work, the bumps in the road won’t be cause for splitting up.

Love is not just about finding the right person, but creating right relationship, it’s not about how much love you have in the begining, but how much love you built till the end.  ~Anonymous

Myth #2 Your Partner Must Fill All Your Emotional Needs

Sometimes your partner can’t be as emotionally supportive as you want them to be. You may want affection or attention and think your partner must give it to you. Yet they don’t seem to understand. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. The truth is that your partner can’t always make you feel better, and it’s a myth that they’re supposed to be available all the time. Additionally, your partner’s emotional wounding or other stressors will inhibit their ability to support you emotionally. Accept their limitations. Make it a point to reach out to friends, family, professionals, and/or a spiritual practice for help during these times.

Myth #3 If Your Partner Changes, You’ll Be Happy

Have you ever thought that if the other person would change, you’d be happy? On the surface, this may be true. For example, if your partner takes out the trash, you may feel pleased, and if they don’t, you might feel angry. You might say, “You made me angry!” However, the truth is that you made yourself angry. The deeper issue involves why you need your partner to make you happy and how to become less dependent on them. Relationships become unhealthy when we depend too much upon our partner for happiness. Healthy relationships are interdependent rather than co-dependent, meaning each person can be true to themselves without compromising who they are or their value system.